Love & Love Only

If she could just pause that moment and rewind what just happened..

He was standing there alone, nestled in the corner next to the window, as his gaze lay locked on to the endless expanse of the clear blue sky. His gaze seemed to be in perfect harmony with the world around him, slow and silent as the wind broke theough the closed channels. 

At Burlington University, the library is situated on the third floor of the central building which had a good view of the surrounding trees and lush green of the Minerva hill station. It was nearly the cold season and in the last row, nearer to the main entrance, sat Anitha surrounded by many books, forming a fortress. While she carefully went through the notes she brought with her, her eyes kept stealing glances at a young man who was deeply lost in his own world. He was fair, slightly chubby cheeks, with short stubble for a beard and eyes that matched his dark grey t-shirt. He didn't dress so stylish like the rest in the corridor, but that only added to the enigmatic allure that surrounded him.  

Anitha used to have childhood dreams about some prince who would sweep a princess off her feet, carry her on horseback, just like the fairy tales and Disney movies often portrayed. Back then, she had a vision of  this perfect prince, which has now long been tucked away in the secret pots of her memory. But this man was not making any such impressions. Yet he had a certain charm that she couldnt ignore. And as he gazed at the sky, it appeared as if he held a deeper affection for the heavens than all the other eyes that admired it. Maybe, thats just how all day-dreamers look like and she just noticed it now. 

The library was nearly still, interrupted only by the occasional cough or sneeze from other students. But, like in most quiet places, the silence felt like a buzzing hive in your head. Anu, as her friends would call her, liked to spend most of her time in the nooks and corners of this place. Anitha had long frizzy hair, blushful cheeks and also wore a little frameless specs that seated perfectly over her small nose. Typical to a quiet and timid girl, the library for Anu was a world away from the busy normal world. In its tranquility, silence spoke volumes, revealing hidden stories concealed from its casual observers.

On the opposite end of the library, Anu spotted two other familiar faces from her department, Arun and Sandeep, both deeply engrossed in their newspapers and magazines. Arun, her classmate and close friend, was very keen on what was happening in and around the world all the time. Sandeep, she only knew by name was one of his best friends. But this new person as she looked and admired, she dont recollect seeing him anywhere before. 

"Karthik," called out the girl right in front of her, and he turned sideways to look at this new person.

"Karthik, have you met prof. Dinesh? He was looking everywhere for you. He mentioned possibly having those books that you needed from last semester," she paused, and his smile filled the air. It felt like a heartwarming sight for her.

"...And I just rememberd how our beloved professor used to sometimes describe the college library. 'A vibrant space filled with timeless artifacts', he used to say" Karthik chuckled, and Anitha heard his voice for the first time in her life. Not too deep, but soft and a bit nasal. 

"Karthik," she whispered the name to herself, finding it more enchanting. She checked her brain, trying to recall if she had ever seen him on campus before. Could this be the same Karthik who played football and was known for never skipping classes for practices? She had heard about him from Arun, who always kept her updated on such campus gossip and insider information. This particular piece of news was intriguing because, from what she knew, most guys seemed to be always looking for excuses to skip classes at Burlington.

Then, Karthik laid his eyes on Anitha for the first time in his life.

However, Anu quickly averted her gaze and picked up the nearest book on her table, burying herself in it, her face hidden. She had always been hesitant to make eye contact with strangers and her shyness around new people reflecting her early life, which was mostly isolated. In and out of many central schools around the country, her father works for the government and they had to travel a lot. Now for the first time in her life she was is in one place and she still couldnt feel too comfortable around stranger's company.

Karthik was intrigued and wanted to catch a glimpse of the mysterious reader. He couldn't help but wonder why someone was engrossed in a book titled "The History of Christianity" by Rudolf Grant, especially in an area surrounded by commerce and management books. It sparked his interest, as he was currently working on his second-year MBA case study, comparing economic prosperity in the modern era to the medieval period. This book seemed like it could be a valuable resource for his research.

He had left a stack of books on a table far from his own spot just before the librarian called him to collect some newly issued books. Upon returning, he found his seat occupied, so he stood by the window, and was lost in time savoring the morning view. This happens to him everytime when he was trying to study something hard. Things easily distract him and a new thread of thought could  start with no end. He must have looked really stupid just standing there by the window all this time just starting at the sky.

Maybe the girl behind his incomplete book can help him with some of his questions. But its also difficult for him to just start conversation with a stranger girl. They always seem to assume the weirdest reasons to respond curtly or even worse to give no response at all. 

"Hi," Karthik uttered unconsciously. Both the girls turned their heads to look at him. The girl who just arrived was standing just a few metres away near the shelf reading the back of a hefty book, while Anitha was sitting with her head digged deep in her palms and skipping slowly through the pages.

Karthik signed to the other girl that he was talking to Anitha, she turned around and Karthik started speaking slowly to Anitha, "are you reading that book?" pointing his finger quickly at its cover. Anitha on the other hand looked a bit confused, well aware that she was touching this book for the first time in her life. Her pencils and notes which was the only things she brought to the table today and they lay next to it.

Her eyes  seemed to sometmes fret when confronted with attention. Being introverted by nature, whenever possible she tried to avoid conversations with strangers. Those pair of dark eyes was not making it any easy on her either.

"Could you tell me a bit about what you're reading? I'm working on a report loosely related to it," Karthik inquired. He heard the sound of a book being placed back on the shelf, signaling that Jessie had moved to the next section.

Anitha's voice trembled briefly in her throat, but she quickly cleared it and spoke with uncertainty, "Well, I think it's good..." She took a quick peek of the front cover and continued, "..I mean, I just read at a few pages. I am a commerce student. So I am not actually reading it"

"Okay, thats alright," Karthik reassured her. "I was just keeping all the books together just to decide which one to start as reference material for my topic. I was mainly interested in getting a summary, because the books I read are far too objective."

Anitha nodded and slowly rose from her chair, deciding it was best to leave before facing more questions. Karthik seemed to sense this and wished he hadn't troubled her.

"Don't worry about it. You can take the book if you want.," he said, as he started raising from his chair. Then, he added, "I'm sorry for interrupting your reading; I was just about to leave."

Anitha smiled and remained silent. Karthik didn't know what else to say, so he smiled and turned and slowly walked away. On his way out, Anitha overheard him say goodbye to the other girl, and that was the extent of their conversation that day.

***

That night Karthik kept thinking about her. She was cute, soft spoken and had an air of  intelligence  surrounding her. He thought of himself during the school years when he was a teenager trying to adapt to his new school in Delhi. It was a slightly difficult phase in his life.

"How to know more about her?", "Would she be there in that same place tomorrow? And even if she was, would it be a good idea to go there and pretend as if he was only there to read more history books?," He thought. Even when he had all these quewtions, it was sure that in the end she would see right through him. Karthik was never too good in hiding his feelings for someone.

It didnt make sense to him. It was fairly obvious that she wasn't a girl who  liked to be asked out by guys she just met. 

****